Dishevelled Jealousy
I have the pleasure of knowing some amazingly beautiful women. Some are more so on the inside, and some on the outside, and some, somehow, even manage to be both. And that is something that I wouldn’t mind obtaining for myself.
The new job has me working with 60 or so women, and thus I’m finding even more women to be jealous of. You know these girls: nice, funny, smart and also carelessly gorgeous though dishevelled. Though I don’t want to be jealous, I am. And though I realize that their lives aren’t necessarily perfect, I assume my life would be better if I was more like them.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty rock-awesome myself. I’m funny and I’m smart (maybe even funnier and smarter), and I’m typically nice, too. Though I also wonder if I’d be a touch nicer if I felt better about how I looked; without feeling flawed all of the time, maybe I’d be less likely to see the flaws in others – I wouldn’t need to try to level any metaphorical playing fields. Maybe I wouldn’t need to think about how I’m funnier and smarter than them.
And hey, I’m carelessly disheveled, too… but messy hair and odd colour combinations on a fat girl look a lot different than on a skinny one. The thin girl looks like an Urban Outfitters model, and I look like a crazed homeless person.
I don’t have the time, energy or money to dress well and have perfect hair. I’m not going to have clothes that cost more than my rent, and I’m not going to take an hour to get ready every morning. So, if I can’t look good at my weight, then I’d better find a new one.
Other Things I’ve Learned This Week
- the thought of taking my vitamins makes me queasy, likely because actually taking them makes me gag (even the smell of them turns me green, though not with envy this time)
- weakness: free food, specifically pizza. 2 meetings today served pizza (one at lunch, one at dinner), and I definitely took part. 6 pieces total, and though it smelled amazing, it didn’t even taste that good, which is something I need to remember
- it drives me crazy when I have steady traffic to my blog and nobody comments on anything. Hint, hint, hint.
‘Night, suckas.
Tags: beauty, food, weight-loss
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